on vulnerability
Like I’ve said before, vulnerability is something that holds great significance in my life. I feel most comfortable around people who can express themselves. I think expressing yourself is the most natural thing you could ever do. When did it become taboo to feel? I think back on my early stages of practicing vulnerability. Before I understood the power of honesty, I would often struggle in silence. Being passive aggressive felt like the only way to express when I felt hurt. I think when I had become so full of anger and anxiety to the point where I felt I could burst was when the vulnerability started to surface. I remember blurting out things that I had kept inside for a long time, to people I’d never expect to listen. The sweetest part of it all is that some of those people not only listened, but they cared. This exercise of honesty and conversation has made me who I am. I am someone who cries when any emotion at all swells up greatly within me. I am someone who tells people what I want them to hear. I am someone who creates a blog in the middle of the night to share my thoughts with anyone who may listen. I have practiced vulnerability so that I never have to perform. I love living freely, and I think there is already so much judgement in the world that the idea of holding it against myself all the time breaks my spirit. We can’t judge each other for our experiences and feelings. I found out that the thing stopping most people from being honest with themselves and others is the fear of embarrassment. Even though I don’t mind sharing my inner thoughts, sometimes I ponder how people have perceived them long after a conversation has ended. Did they really listen to what I was saying? Were they laughing at me? Do they think I’m stupid? So many questions with no answers. But this very sense of worry is what is so precious about honesty and vulnerability. When you express yourself and allow yourself to be real with people despite what they may think, it is an act of self love. Because your thoughts and feelings matter. Not everyone is meant to understand you. Not everyone will be interested in what you have to say, but some will. If you’re still reading this post, you are at least somewhat intrigued by my thoughts and ideas (thanks, I appreciate it). You do not have to be embarrassed for taking up space or using your words. I am taking the bullet for you! I now have a public blog where I am spontaneously posting my inner thoughts, and at some point I will probably say something completely shocking or seemingly out of line. And this is because I don’t want you to be afraid of blurting things out. What you have to say is so important. Conversation and connection is what we evolved to experience. It is only human to be vulnerable. Our bodies can grow to be so strong but are still so frail. No matter how much we can endure, we can be torn down by forces out of our control, because we are innately vulnerable. Let us appreciate this delicate nature of our humanity. Let us be gentle with ourselves and with others. You are free to be exactly as you are here and in your life. Would you like to practice? If you would not like to, that is perfectly lovely. Thank you for coming this far and allowing yourself to read the words of someone else with a listening heart. If you’re wanting to, here are some questions you can answer and send to me at lovelettersfrommyfriends@gmail.com (just use the contact tab!) :
What was today like for you?
What did you carry from yesterday in to today that you wish you could’ve left behind?
What is something you’re looking forward to?
Describe yourself in four words.
I can’t WAIT to hear from you. You are loved and cherished beyond words. Thank you for reading what’s on my mind.