pouring out my feelings for you— a written hug for my readers.

Last night I had a moment where I felt completely swallowed by stress, unknowns, and hypotheticals. I woke up this morning with an emotional hangover, unsure of how I would take on the next 24 hours. So I took a shower, called my mom (who literally stopped what she was doing and drove up to my university with my dad (on the icy interstate after a fucking snowstorm) just to give me a hug), made myself some oatmeal with blackberries, had water, completed a task, and did some meditation. And while I feel that the waters have certainly settled, I realized in this dance of self regulation and self care, that what I was doing was detaching from my thoughts and leaning in to the body and observing my emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. And in this, I was talking to myself in the way that I would a child. “Let’s get ready for the day and have a warm shower”, “Let’s have some breakfast, let me add some cinnamon on top of your oatmeal, I know you love that”, “Let’s ask mom what she thinks”, “Let’s watch a show while you eat and after try and start on a task”, “Let’s have quiet time”. I was speaking to myself in a way that is gentle and kind, and allowing myself to prioritize my immediate needs. One of my biggest sources of peace is the way that the inner voice of kindness speaks to me. So, I thought to myself how much I wanted to talk to you all in the same way, and give you a warm hug and soft pep talk if you need it. This entry doesn’t offer any analytical insight or recollection of what’s already passed in my life. I want to take a break from that today and focus on what feels good, and give that to you. After all, this is “Love Letters For My Friends”, and helping you all to feel safe and loved is the foundation of all that goes on here.

So, prepare to be hugged (consensually and virtually):

Dear friend,

In all of the days you have lived not one has gone by where you haven’t been a manifestation of love. Whenever you wake up, you rise to the occasion of the day. Rather that be from your bed, from your job, from your classes, from your living room. You have showed up today and the world is better off because of it. Each breath you take is your body inhaling hope and purpose. You are purposeful, you are important, you are beautiful in more ways than you could ever ever ever imagine. Those who get to encounter you on a regular basis are touched beautifully by your influence. Remember that in the present there is solace, in the next moment there is the present again— waiting for you to just be. You are so widely beyond enough. The way your body takes its shape and navigates through the world is so amazing. Never feel that who you are is anything less than a creative expression of all the universe has the potential to be. Every angle of you is magnificent, I am in immense awe of how we all fit in to each other’s lives. If you have ever spoken to me or given me a glance or even just been in the same room as me, you have made a true mark on my life. We are all artists of each others lives, adding color to one another the more we interact. Thank you, genuinely, for the art you’ve given me by existing as you are.

How you feel is so important, and simultaneously, we can put our feelings down when they are too heavy to carry. Give your arms a rest, come be held by my words. Know that to your core you are good. Believe that every layer you’ve had to take on to exist in the way you do today is a part of your story. And while you may perceive yourself one way, and others may perceive you another, and you may perceive others one way or another, just know that it is a gift to even be encountering each other like this. From the depths of my heart, thank you so much for letting me see you, for letting my words enter your mind, for letting me know you. I read somewhere that in order to be loved, we must first be known. If we have ever had a conversation, the parts of you that I’ve gotten to know are reasons to love you! There are infinite reasons to love you, and each new part of you that I get to see affirms that. You are lovable, it’s so insanely nonnegotiable.

Your mind, your heart, your body, your soul. All so important to the make up of your existence. Take care of yourself in the best way you know how. Your value is steadfast and consistent regardless of anything you could ever do or say or accomplish. If you have ever felt unseen, unloved, misunderstood, know that I am here to listen and learn about all of the things you wish someone knew. Your feelings, the things you love about yourself, the things you are fascinated by. Those are all so wonderful to me, and my contact page is always open if you just want me to know something. I promise you are interesting, I promise you are complex, I promise you are layered. You are worth being known. You are worth being cherished. You are worth being accepted. Forgive yourself immediately for all the reasons you could think of that could make that untrue.

Allow animosity to evaporate from your life like rain after a storm. You are free, you are no burden, you are worthy of a new start.

As a reminder, don’t ever let the way someone treats you determine a single thing about your worth. Don’t ever let what you’ve done in the past rule over what you do today. You get to keep going, you get to keep being amazing, you get to keep attracting things and people in to your life that reflect how great you are. Don’t settle, don’t take shit, stay true to your feelings. You have boundaries that deserve to be honored, and the people who are worth your time and energy will want to respect you. I am so sorry if you have ever had your boundaries violated or minimized. I respect you and am always wanting to know how I can best show you that. You can absolutely require this from everyone in your life.

I accept you for who you are. No matter what has happened in your life to make you doubt that how you exist in this present moment is anything less than miraculous and brilliant, I believe to my core that you are special.

I said earlier that in order to be loved we must be known, and while that is true, I encourage you to know that you don’t have to be known by all to be worthy. Rather you are loved widely by many or deeply by a few, know that I fall in to both categories when it comes to you. Even if I haven’t gotten the chance to know you, understand that I’m always excited at the opportunity to. To get to know you would be an honor. I want to learn all the ways I could possibly love you.

You are lovely, you are magnificent, you are inherently significant.

I say all this with a warm hug, with a soft smile, with a fascinated glance. Friends near and far, new and old: reach out if you need a reminder of how important you’ve been to me (I love to write letters doing this very thing, we can be pin pals <3 )

I don’t play about mine, and I mean that with full sincerity and unconditional love. Walk in your worth today and every day.